years passed bye already

I should know to ignore my days. They have gone really fast. My hair has getting grey, as well as my age has coming abundantly. I am still searching for my best behalf. On which I thought I have found one. He doesn't even take care of me, and even ignore me at once until forever. I do not know where to go. Deep inside, and not only deep, but in fact I always says, that I should build my own family. But how come, if there is no one ever come anymore? When I was younger, there are kinds of guys coming in and out. But then, now they out of my live one by one. Dissapear just like shaddow on the beach that made of sand. With this guy, I thought, I can take only a few more years, years of waiting, but he is just the same as the begginer. He ignored me. This tears queueing on my lid. But still no one know. I don't trully reject. But they are just passed bye. Waiting is stressful. But the tests are so hard to do and answered. I wish I can have what I supposed to receive. I wish I can get what ever I had planned before. I wish the time coming immediately. But there is kinds of quizes almost all around. How come people cannot understand. Herewith I DO NOT believe in GoD. He doesn't gave me what I asked for. I know, that there is not supposed to wait for long. But it has been toooooooooo long. I have my own decision. That we should end up. And I will go for another. No need to miss anymore. My cheek become very warm. Not because of the weather. But because of him. I hate you FOOL!!!