penyesalan slalu blakangan

Selama ini diriku hanya menyalahkan dan menuding orang lain yang berbuat salah kepadaku. Kalau orang tetua berkata bahwa duduk, diam, dengar, dan masih banyak lagi perkataan yang seharusnya diperdendangkan. Heemmm. Bukan diperdendangkan siiih. Seolah olah itu sebuah nyanyian yang harus dilanutkan. Tapi mungkin keadaanya sama. Layaknya sebuah lagu, yang diiringi musik. Bahwa selayaknya, seperti sebuah hentakan, dan notasi yang diulang ulang. Intinya adalah, diulang ulang. Saya adalah orang yang mudah sekali mengeliarkan kata-kata. Seperti sifat saya yang seorang pengucap kata. Tak lain, yang Readers lihat bahwa saya sering kali dengan mudahnya mengeluarkan kata-kata. Tapi sangaat jarang saya bisa mengingat apa yang sudah saya keluarkan dan hasilkan dari kata-kata tersebut. Saya hanya berpikir dan selintas saja dan kemudian mengucapkan, dan terbentuklah akibat dari semuanya itu. Seringkali saya merasa diri saya hebat, dengan apa yang telah saya hasilkan. Tapi ternyata, tidak semuanya menghasilkan jerih payah yang sesungguhnya. Yang saya pikirkan itulah yang saya ucapkan. Ternyata, banyak kontra yang terjadi. Saya pernah dan memang memiliki satu perlambangan. JOGER JELEK. Merupakan suatu rambu verboden yang hasilnya tidak begitu memuaskan. Pabrik Kata-kata yang menyatakan diri jelek. Terlalu banyak omong hasilnya nol. Saya merasa sesuatu yang terpuruk. Belum berhasil menjadi manusia dewasa yang seutuhnya. Tapi, sering status yang saya baca di media internet, berkata, dan yang saya simpulkan sendiri, BALANCE of LIVE. Saya ingin bisa mencanangkan ini dalam hidup saya. Membenahi cara hidup. Dan maju terus. ^^b

Ngajar Inggris tuh Enyak tauk

Selang beberapa tahun sebelum kelulusan saya dari fakultas Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris Universitas ternama yang tidak perlu saya sebutkan namanya yaitu ATMA JAYA Jakarta, saya masih berpikir bahwa saya masih ada kemungkinan untuk bekerja menenteng tas kerja di bilangan Sudirman atau Kuningan di sebuah instalasi Pemerintah di Departemen Luar Negeri. Namanya mungkin Kedutaan ^^. Tapi sayangnya, karena "Kecelakaan" yang menyebalkan, alias pastinya Komputer di departemen fakultas saya mencetak nilai orang lain atau mahasiswa yang salah, makanya, ijazah saya, ehem, saya edit. Ngga boleh ada yang tahu. Begitulah mimpi saya tentang masa lalu saya yang kelam, dengan permasalahan komputer ngacotweet tadi. Saya beberapa kali saja kok bercerita tentang hal ini di kelas saya mengajar, yaitu selalu. Bahwa sebenarnya saya mengajar Bahasa Inggris itu suatu kebetulan yang luar biasa direncanakan. Alhasil saya bisa cerita banyak dan selalu memberikan semangat kepada murit murit saya. Saya biasanya bercerita tentang rekaman asal saya yang luar bisa ketelen sampe sekarang, dari dosen saya tercinta yang menjegal saya lulus dengan mudahnya. Alias saya menerima mata kuliah yang sama beberapa kali dengan perihal yang sama. Mungkin namanya DRILLING. Bahwa terpaku dalam benak saya mengenai penelitian tentang seorang bayi. Selalu saya ingatkan, ketika kamu masih bayi, apakah kamu bisa langsung berbicara? Kamu hanya mendengar saya suara-suara yang bahkan kamu sendiri pada saat itu tentunya tidak tahu arti dari kalimat ataupun kata-kata tersebu. Bahkan ketika kamu masih SMP, apakah kamu bisa berpidato dengan baik layaknya seorang PROVOKATOR??? Tentu belum selihai itu bukan. Itulah sebabnya, ada tahapan-tahapan mengenai pengenyaman bahasa yang baru dipelajari sekarang ini. Butuh waktu yang lama, dan tentunya DRILLING atau latihan yang bertubi-tubi. Simpel saja, dan sangat Cliche, bahwa sesuatu itu harus diulang-ulang untuk memperoleh hasil yang mujarab. Sebuah acara yang dipersiapkan secara matang, dalam sebuah kepanitiaan, tentunya membutuhkan waktu dan tingkat ketelitian yang tinggi. Begitu juga dengan pemerolehan bahasa itu. Begitulah pekerjaan saya setiap hari. Memotivasi dan memberi asupan berupa kosa kata dan susunan kalimat juga wacana wacana yang terus sedikit diforsir agar hasilnya pun membaik dari hari kesehari. Sayangnya, ada pula oknum-oknum yang tidak menyukai keberadaan saya. Pengen tau ajah palingan mereka, ya ngga?? Bahwa gimana sih saya bisa sekian tahun tetap dan memang menetapkan diri hanya sebagai PENGAJAR BAHASA INGGRIS??? Hihihihi. Kata mereka rada lebai aja luh. Byarinnn. Lu ajeh yang sirik. Saya menanam modal dari Bahasa Inggris yang yaaah,, baca saja keluhan saya, bahwa saya saja dulunya belum bisa menulis NINE, alias GABSA/ gagap bahasa. Tapi saya mau kasih semangat. AYOH, kalo kamu mau apa saja dibawa ENJOY. Jangan patah semangat. Dan jangan patah arang. Coba terus. Buatlah orang yang mau mengalahkan kita tadi, dengan menyiriki kita menjadi terpesona karena KETEGAR TENGKUKAN kita bahwa kita ngga mudah menyerah. Give out is okay Give in is better But Give up??? Do Not Even Think of IT!!!

done and never done is correct or not correct

Well, this is like a story to tell about classy things. Yesterday I wrote something,seems like nothing else than just a worn shirt and worn again. ^___^ well anyhow, there is a principal thought that come up to me, somehow I have learned from my priest, not about the second worn shirt, but about how we have to do something that we are supposed to do, but then we never do that and delay that activities. When I reclaim this to my students, it is like an evidance that first time we do that, is perhaps because of we are lazy, and need guidance and spoonfeed all the time. But then, if we keep delaying the things that should be done, then there comes the reaction, and to overcome it, it what so-called SIN. It might not that extreme, but the TALENT that we have, and thus we are supposed to do, that later than we do that, or we delayed, than something else will happen. I give you an example for this, as I am working as a teacher. I know as well, that the main aimfor student is to learn, but if the student is being lazy to make up the day to study hard, for example, the student will delay her achievement to get a good score. Or get a raise in their race. I mean, what is the aim of a student if not learning? Then why there is several students whose lazy? They are not weak, but very lazy, but then, his achievement or the best result of his studying will delayed. He should get more, he can get more, and he must get more. But then, in the beginning it will occur only like a laziness. But to realize it, it is not, he just doesnt push himself to do more. Well, I still remember the story about the TALENT in bible. As where the talent should be doubled and that makes the Master satisfied. And it is also written, that if we do not doubled or trippled the talent, we do not work or as where we delay the achievement that we are supposed to get. I mean, work hard is absolutely thumbs up. It is nothing else to make the Master satisfied. And therefore, DO WORK HARD. Keep up the good work. Make our Master pleased to us, and keep the spirit, and keep the fiath, and trust, the payment and the result is up to Him, and it is given in the end. ^___^

Nice Today ^__^ Well Done

Today, Our very Senior employee doesn't come. And so is our O.G. or Cleaning Service. So, it is my turn to do the cleaning for the office. Well, I started the day with making Daily Journal on my compie, but then when I was looking for fresh air out side, I saw my other fellas holding the stick of a mop. Then it turn in my mind, that I also have to do the same thing, doing the cleaning. Well, some month ago, when our boss ask me to do the cleaning, or even several years ago, I admit myself, I refused, I rejected, but I still do it grumpily. I doubt it when my senior ask me what happen? I said it was okay. But now, I feel happy, and though I work very hard and make myself wet because of the sweat, i still feel very happy. Well to mention that, because I enjoy myself, and seems like I do that at home. It feels like I was working at home. And then I also invite one other guy, a new worker, a fresh employee in our school, to help me cleaning the window by wiping it with a small towel or used shirt. LOL it might be silly. I even then scare and afraid that my boss got mad at me. By the way, I then told him, Sir, Don't you also do cleaning at your house? So, why do not you do things like that in here? Don't you feel like working at home? Then I gave my biggest smile. As though I thought I won something. Then I was afraid again just remembering my boss turn her neck left and right. OMG. Then I said again to him. Sir, Is it okay? Then he said never mind it is okay, you are right. I work at home. Ahhh, there you go, I felt very glad. Hemmm. Not really. What if my boss know? What am I supposed to do or say? Big smile like usual? Does that a good reason? Well, what do you think PD? It is abbreviated as Mr. D???? ^__^

How is it???

It is wondering me. I saw and counted on the list of the audience in my visitors list. But there is no list of anyone who giving me comment ^=^. What is wrong with that? I mean my writings? Then I asked my students. One of them said. Yes, miss, don't you see? If I went to Gramedia or other Book shops, well it is not okay to writes on the book we are holding or read on that place. By the way, it is not permitted to writes on our comment on Library's book. Don't you know about that? Say, what would the shop keeper says or the librarian do to us? We will get some punishment I guess. -_______- Very funny indeed. Absolutely funny.

Me and My Life: ngeblog yang enteng ajag de hari ini

Me and My Life: ngeblog yang enteng ajag de hari ini: Hari ini, kelas yang seharusnya mulai jam 16:00, jadi dimulai 16:15. Bukan apa apa, tapi kan jam-pul gua, ngga papa. Yah berbelas kasih lah....

ngeblog yang enteng ajag de hari ini

Hari ini, kelas yang seharusnya mulai jam 16:00, jadi dimulai 16:15. Bukan apa apa, tapi kan jam-pul gua, ngga papa. Yah berbelas kasih lah. Gua tambahin 15 minit. Yaelaa, emang boss juga nyaranin kayak getcho. Btw, awal kelas, gua nanya, beberapa kalimat yang basic bangad, ngga kejawab, sama mereka, yawis, gua elus dengkul, karena gag mungkin kalo elus dada di terusin saben ada kelas. Bukannya mereka berasa porno, tapi uda kaya toss aja siih. Yang dimaksud elus dada, jadi sedikit bergeser artinya, dadanya bukan yang paling dekat dengan bahu ituh. Tapi dadanya ketika saya menebarkan jemari saya di tangan. Heheheh. Yabegitulah. Saya jayus pangkat jendral. Alias dadanya, yaitu lama lama mreka ngga balik ke kelas saya lagi untuk mengikuti jam pelajaran berikutnya, karena memang jeda waktu libuuur. Heheheh. Jadi yah apalah artinya kerja dan sekolah dan rutinitas lainnya kalau tidak ada hari minggu dan day off. Huaha. Anyway, saya cukup gemas, dan inginnya meremas, ketika mereka lagi lagi, ngga bawa kamus. Ngga jadi fondasi seh, bawa kamus apa enggak, tapi akhirnya karena saya ingat bener bahwa beberapa belas tahun yang lalu, saya masih ngeles inggris di suatu kursus ternama di Jakarta, yang cabangnnya di jalan Pramuka yang tidak mau saya masukkan nama instalasi tersebut, yaitu Lia Pramuka. Oopps. Saya begitu sebal, tutor saya ato dibilangnya instruktur senam ais, salah, instrukstur bahasa inggris saya, sering mendiktekan kalimat kalimat yang saya anggap waktu itu sulit naujubile. Niscaya keberhasilan saya sekarang menjadi guru bahasa inggris yang sudah tahap senior di salah satu instalasi terkenal yang juga tidak ingin saya kemukakan namanya yaitu Primagama English Kelapa Gading, waaa lagi lagii, cemilan kecil, OOPS, saya cukup bangga dan ingin menularkan kegigihan saya untuk berjuang sampai akhirnya pangkat saya sersan 1. Yaelaa. Kecil amat yak. Ngga laaah. Saya naek speda. Hihihi. SPd bok. Sangat Percaya Diri. Wuakakakakakkaka. Awa elap. Neh tisuu. Kata saya,apa siiih yang ngga bisa kita raih kalau memang kita melakukannya dengan sungguh sungguh? Mungkin butuh waktu, mungkin butuh tenaga ekstra, dan bahkan butuh BLESSINGS, yaaa ngga see??? Tapi apa pun yang kita lakukan pasti bisa berhasil kalau kita melakukan pemfokusan dan kesejatian juga ketaatan serta percaya tahap Dewa, (mengkutip murit saya) yang sungguh sungguh. Hedeh, berasa power pull bangad gua ngomong begene. Saya masih ingat, dulu saya bahkan sulit sekali menulis "NINE", iyah, sembilan ituh!! NAIN yang saya tulis. Tapi setelah tak lebih dan tak kurang sekarang selama 20 tahunan saya berubah.... Jeng Jeeennngg. Ksatria Baja Kuningan. eheheheh. Baja Hitam. Guys, percayalah. Kalau di kelas saya memotivasi murit saya dengan bilang, kalau kamu punya mimpi dan diurutkan ke nomer 10 diatas, dan kamu baru tahap ke 1 bahkan 0, percayalah, kalau kamu sungguh sungguh, sapa tau, setelah kamu enjoy, dan bahkan lupa akan cita-cita kamu itu, niscaya tanpa sadar kamu sudah di tahap 13??? Loh, beneran. Itu terjadi pada dirikyu. Look, I am a Senior English Teacher. And who am I 20 years ago? A silly student who wrote 9 as nain instead of nine. Believe, Trust, and JUST DO IT!!!
(kok lumayan berat yaaa, ^_____^)

Taking Nerve???

Today I made another speech to rebuild my confidence in making speaking. The mossy is "Should Negative Politics Advertisement be banned?". I reclaimed myself on that speech, that yes, there is always some positive sides on everything. I think and utter my opinion on that speech, that somehow ignoring about the negative sides is always better. I proclaimed, that we have to admit that even a negative point of view is not always giving us advantage. But to realm the situation of what happen today, I was angry to myself. As there is always a negative sides that come up in making balance of live, I got fed up with being the one who is always being the receivers. At first, I thought it will be always okay to become the receiver. And always praise for everything I had earned. But that is not always right. Up on in one point of view, if I stand in one place and always grain the seeds of being receiver and praise for everything, one day like today, I FED UP!!. This is not the balance that I want. Live should be balance. One day when I make and spread the seeds of being thankful and always receive for anything, and someday I need to reclaim that I also need one moment where I could make myself happy just because I made mistake. It might not a big mistake. But quite okay to make myself satisfied. What I mean here, if for one person I met everyday and FED me up, why not in another day I make her have the same thought? The situation is absolutely not about "The Upper Level" anymore. But about the same worker in one place hand in hand working happily without some other as the main leader. I knew that this might not giving solution. But the point I want to tell is, Give me Balance of Live. I got happy, and so is you. And what I am afraid of is, as where my speech about Negative Politics. I didn't do that speech pretty well. Because there is always minus and plus in everything. I just want to yell out. Please, do not give me any more Negative side to THINK about. In short. Let me have my thought vacancy for a while. I need indeed a balance. Yea, to bring my thought a little bit lighter. Stop thinking HERTA. If I said STOP, THEN STOP!!! PERIOD.

today's diary

Today is another day I supposed to spend with my pals to GosBot. Ahahahha that is just a silly abbreviation of gosok botol for christmas tree. According to the committee's plans, our community will create and rebuild the 600 ml waste mineral water botol to become a huge about 2-3 meters of christmas tree. The waste botol was bought and given to our community from our beloved member. By the way, tonight we are going to clean up and wash the bottles. There are more than 700 bottles. Well, I do not know excatly about the amount, but tonight we are going to do another cleaning. Yippey, another meeting and another hang up with pals. By the way, the point of the first of my writings is, we want to use the used things to become renewed and that was just the way we are. Simply, we are all sinners, or replaced as a used waste things. We are nothing than sinners that supposed to only waiting to be thrown away. But as the message that the amazed of x-mas tree, we are supposed to be renewed. Even though we are useless. One of my collie says, hahalllaah just wasting time and energy, just collect money and buy 8 or 9 feet of x-mas tree, and periode, no need to do anything else. Yea, I just ignore her. By the way, we like, well, me, just say that, I enjoy the fun of hang up together, and eat dinner from mi dog dog, or splashing water and chit chat and other enjoyable things. Wasting time usefully rather than just buy something that just already exist. Ahahahhaha. Just another waiting for x-mas time. And for short, there is something I would like to mention. This afternoon, I bring about the scissors of my life. Well, I like making things, and thus I have at least 3 scissors,where as this afternoon, I bring my other scissors. It is MAPED. And quite sharp. I take the scissors, and put on my back pocket. I ride my bicycle to buy some casava chips. And then I started to take a seat on the porch of my Base Camp, and open my cute tablet. But hey dey, where is my scissors? They were gone. I hurriedly ride my bicycle, and trace my previous ways. I open up my eyes widely to search for the lost. Where is it. Gosh. I never found it anymore. They were gone. Dissapear. Lost. Oh gosh. I blamed my self. Then you know what? I remeber something. Several years ago, I ever found a hundred paper of cash. On the street. Could you imagine? I was unemployed at that time. The story was like this. This is what I want to tell you. By the time I ride my bike and open up my eyes, I recalm my self and say, Pliiiissss, let someone not to found it. That was just what I prayed. Then, here you go, I lost my lovely scissors. Gosh. It wasn't only about the prize. But also, I need that right here, right now. Well, recalling what had happened to me about the hundred cash, now I say, may the founder of the scissors use it nicely, I had gotten the cash, perhaps it is now my turn to give away my lovable scissors. Bless the one who found it. It dropped. What about the person who lost the hundred cash. It is worthed for my whole week. Thanks God for everything. O:-)

goose or ghost?

Watch this writings, I do hope it will be nice to be read. Ghost is somehow, a creature or figure, that people can mentioned as the most disasterous yet scary and full of frightening handling. It is a subject or something somehow like an object to be scare about. It is like dilema to explain how ferocious things on our lives beneath become something that will be hiperbole to be known. In my religion, and as I believe. Good things is demanding as better than anything. Meaning that if your thought is good, then that is what you will earned. And else, as I want to mention, good things deals on my thought and resembles as become the pointers in my live. I will have to believe, that what I wish, and what I ask, and what I prayed, will be something like a dream come true. In my latest live, I pray and ask for something, year ago, even, when I haven't think what am I supposed to do. I asked for one thing. Satu hal telah ku pinta, kepada Tuhan, itulah yang ku inginkan. Diam di rumah rumah Tuhan seumur hidupku, menyaksikan kemurahan Tuhan. Dan menikmati, baik nyaaaaa, dan menikmati kuasanyaaa, dan menikmati, baiknyaaaaa, dan menikmati firmannya. Well, I have been wondering alot in around my own world. Somehow, I think, I have to think positive all the time. Good things will come to me. The ghost, as well I mentioned on the title, let us say, change the letters, and here you go, it become goose. Or change again the letter to become Holy Ghost. Goose, as well the creature living in lakes, dancing just like the famous ballet. Tamara Rojo, the dancer, that taught me, about small dance, of relationships. Nice, see her perforance, and learn about what she give you point of view. Now about the ghost, say that, upon my believe, I am bigger than the ever ghost the worse one, if only I do good. The main point is, if God, or good things come up to me, and happen in my live, then click your thumbs and your middle finger, then the ghost will be dissepear. It is just about the mind set. Think about something good, and think about something will be happend to you in the future, the best prayer, then click yoir finger, or perhaps, in my mind, that your wish will come true. Winking eyes, crossing fingers, then there you go. It is about mind set. Just think positive. Amen.

looking for the meaning

Previewing the meaning of things could be disasterous yet so splendid. Like this word I recall today and this moment. I know that this is like a huge and strong believe, somehow "the best friend could be the best enemy, whilst the best enemy is possibly to become the best pals". How we obtain this? It is like a curse. What reminds me today is, my friend, that is true that the fallen of the water drop is not afar from its tap. Or else like the word FOE as the similar pronounciation of VOW. Which those two has absolutely different meaning and can become a huge boomerang on relationship. Somehow, alike the first I mentioned, I can easily and mistakenly choose the wrong person or that person chose another wrong person or as simply wrong choices. Somehow, everything supposed to be recalling this sunday school song. Simply the theme of the song is, listen first what your Upper Level wants you to say to you. Give a listenings. Hear what your friends want you to hear from them. Do not to be worry about the time. Nothing that too much time flies, can obtain a better works. When some priest like to say, pray, before you do. It doesn't mean trully like searching for God, looking up above, but, else like, CALM DOWN. Think before you do. Listen carefully. Give a time to think what you are going to do. Give your heart. Don't make it HARD. Give a listen. Hear what wisdom recalls you. O:-)

surat cinta untuk kekasih

Cinta itu tidak datang tiba tiba. Kalau dalam kamusku. Rumit dan penuh intrik. Mauku sih sederhana saja. Hidup bahagia, sampai ajal memanggil. Namun apakah itu kehendak sang ilahi. Diliputi pula dengan logika dan ilmu pengetahuan. Diliputi pula oleh kepribadian manja dan tak beranjak dewasa. Petemanan dan perjodohan, satu dengan yang lain. Sungguh runyam. Banyak kata kata yang hendak menderu keluar laksana meriam. Ungkapan ungkapan menakutkan yang harusnya terjun bebas. Untuk menyerbu keluar, memberitakan keadaan pilu hatiku. Kalau kata orang, hidup itu pilihan, masakan aku ngga bisa memilih untuk berbalik arah, hanya karena peraturan peraturan yang juga buatan manusia sendiri? Dan harus bersyukur, oh Tuhan maha adil? Pasir yang berlimpah ruah, bantulah aku mengungkapkan isi hatiku. Mampukan aku berkata kata. Pusing aku dibuatnya. Andaikata semua mengerti. Tapi kalau orang bilang, nasi telah menjadi bubur. Kalau ini nasi sudah menjadi tai. Hiks hiks hiks

building my own company

Starting to renew my job is away from my consistancy. That I am now is on the top of my self motivating. I know that I don't need to put out and give my first foundation like the amount of money. I am on the way to build up my own company as to confirm my best result in working as well. Yes, there is also as become the best role of worker and become the best teacher. As well I also try to make myself able to conduct the best of those students, my collie, my boss as well, and my family for utmost. My very close family. Yea as there you can call my friends. I had known, that what is God, and what do I have to do if I want to obtain in something. I offer myself, that I will work very hard and do what best I can do. The company of which I am working now, a course of school, is not actually mine of business. The rules, the income, the project, well, I do not made that with my own hands. But I have learned, that somehow, if I let myself as become a self own business woman or the owner, I do not take the profit in advance. I tried to maintain myself that, and realize, of which I understand a lot how to serve others. To serve my boss and work for the owner. Do the best and become my boss's helper, and really put myself as honour this one. I think it is really hard to do. This is what I think I called it like a marriage. I try not to see the working, but always thinking for the perfect result. Maintaining and always try to give the best. And always renewed and let the input as the knowledge. It is like chewing the steak. Juicy and sometimes deeply spicy. But I try to think, yea, this is supposed to be my company. I have to make this school better. Not only now, but for the rest of the year I will work in here. So many times, I admit to myself, and say, hey, where is the profit? What do I earn? Nothing? I got another "spicy", and even more "salt" and phew, dirt and mid. But wait up, I can do better tomorrow. And says again, yea, I can do better next time, and say it again. I can do that. Even better. Better than yesterday. I thought at first I have to move to other place if I cannot make myself better. But, no, I did a lot. I even think, thanks to God, to make this one for me. And says God, what spice did You put inside? It is like steak, you know that? Do you know what I mean? Hard to be eaten, and nice in the end. Absorb the formula, try to understand it deeply. Children hates vagetables. But they have to consume it. It is a must. Nothing is gained as easy as piece of cakes. Before you swallow it you have to chew it. Try to understand. Don't take it for granted. Understand it, memorize. And our body is like a company by ourself. Look, what you learn, what you eat, what when you move around, when you heading something. Why does it has to be brain, and all natural things conduct the body to do lots of things. So for instance, I am a company of myself. Become a better person. And not to forget, that I also need my feeling and my heart. Gosh. It is all amazing. Be like that. Conduct yourself to be better each day. Good luck. Try always. And do not give up. As my pal says, Mita, because I am not a quitter. Hear hear. ^w^

yes God is ARouND

Well, so many times I've been searching for where God is. What place does He hide? In a big place? In a hidden place as people saith? In a place that called a sacret one? In an abacus? What the hack? Well, mentioned those things. This noon about, I've read a post written. Wealth comes from work hard. Yea. As in previous writings, nothing is completely occured and obtained like a wind come to your nose. Somehow there could be like pollution, there else could be like foggy wind, mean while it can dissapear and well who knows come again. Well thank God, if I may say there is fur or hair inside our nose, and our lungs can occur as nice and work thumbs up style. ^____^ .Or else appreciate others, while we can obtain that. And I was so awkward and clumsy when things just gone wrong. Retype is hard to gained. Hard to made. God. You're one amazing. What else shall I say.

i enjoy this guy

I just seen Mike Tompkins with his PYT song. Ages behind, I thought seeing the beauty of a guy is from his face. Trully, that will be happend for youngsters like teens. But simply I have just learned from this guy called Mike. The same song has sang by Jacko. One famous star. This second guy was kings of pop. The two different guy appearencedly different. The face, the family back ground, but I tell you about my opinion. Tompkins sang one of Jacko's song. In advance he said, he honoured Jacko. Well, I don't count he stole the song and sang it with different version. But I think by the time he changed the style of the song, of how he sang it in different style, look, I think in purpose, if one want to sing and copy other's song and become famous, he has to "pay" for something. Or else, like Tompkins did, it is innovation. The things I want to highlight is, I don't see that by the end, he show up his way that how he obtain his soo many lips voice made up. I mean, he didn't do that easily. As I also had learnt how to sing and about the strikes on every song, each song has their own staccatos. There, on PYT, there didn't show all of the strikes from each styles and types of how Tompkins made the song. But in the end, the song has just GREAT. EXCELLENT. Thumbs up. What else. But just right in the klips of the song, there were only shown the simple things. It is all just the mean one. Not all. If seen from realistic life, sometimes things has done more than it is supposed to shown on stage. The stage has appearing some works of art. But the real thing, nothing is easy. How that guy manage everything, well has done so many that we even haven't seen. We only see them right on stage. Not how he spend the time to work it out about the strikes and the voice of the mouth. Best exellence work of art, IS expensive. For how difficult and how many hours, the work of art has spend the time to be prepared. Good and excellent preparation will conduct perfect work of art. See how beauty it is.

hiking is tremendously enjoyable

But in fact it is really hard to obtain. I was once try to understand, about how a bowling ball is hard to raise up. It might even be impossible to do. Do you know what I mean? A bowling ball is round, hard to move up and very easy to slide down. Really heavy yet so hard for its shape. Imagine if the bowling ball is me. Ahahahahaha. Find out where is the hole for human to touch. Three holes, not very easy to find, and hidden somewhere in the surface. Guess what. :P well well. Some of my friends who had known me, imagining me as an alfalink. Yea, that kinda translation aid. Not in real. Many times I have made mistaken button. There are so many morses and marks around. I usually don't take a minute to overcome the meaning. I put in a*drawer* and skip asides. And says, bodo amat dah. And whilst my compy insides suddenly printing the meaning. Sometimes some degrees turn left or right. So, please, I am not trully an alfalink. I am an ordinary dictionary. :P Traditional one and compatible. My other qualifications are blender machine. I was easily blend people to make fun and jokes. Well, I am a juicer. Ever since in every mini mart near your house, there must be JASJUS. Jayus? Yea, I just don't know that word in English version. Perhaps a left side meaning, or let me say pop up words. Theiy are just popping out and I did think the joking sides on everything and every moment I got things to be different. Sometimes it wasn't funny, instead making others seems in the other feeling. But I was trying to make it differently. Hayday, I think I can think differently. But else, I wanna say something. Think differently from elevators and escalators? Centuries ago, there is no stairs. Yet there is no elevators nor escalators. People just walk through, make steps up above hardly and takes more time. But now, people has to thankful for those two things. Shopping at malls is easier and more fun but taking more money to spend. Look, people feels something when shopping at malls. The bigger and newer malls, the more modern all the equipments become. The higher cost at the prizes. In fact, there should be lots of explanations on every new comers. There supposed to be informations indeed next to it. So many don't want and ignore the warning of be carefull. Do not get down. Well. You see how much do you want to see the bowling ball? :D

Tuhan selalu memberi yang terbaik? coba baca lagi

Judul diatas kalau diterjemehkan, dan sesuai dengan apa yang mau saya tulis, artinya dalam bahasa JAWIR adalah, God is Good all the time? Spell it again. Yah, eja lagi. Dan bisa juga, cobalah untuk mengatakannya sekali lagi. Saya pernah di*bully* dan beberapa kali juga tulisan saya jadi rada *horor*. Mungkin loh. Tapi kenyataannya, sering kali apa yang sudah saya tulis akan membuat saya merenung. Memikirkan kembali kata kata yang sudah keluar ato ter*publish*di blog saya ini. Saya mengalami banyak hal selama 33 tahun ini. Wadhoh. Angka bagus gag see? Gini loh. Tuhan itu baik. Yaiyalah. Tapi satu hal dari sudut pandang saya, saya pernah berpikir, yang merupakan perwujudan Tuhan itu siapa saja yah? Keluarga? Seperti orang tua saya gitu? Ato teman? Ato yang umurnya lebih dari saya? Ato mereka yang lebih pandai? Ato mereka yang secara fisik lebih dari kita? Ato mereka yang empunyai kekayaan lebih dari kita? Ato jabatan yang lebih tinggi dari kita? Siapa sih yang layak kita sembah? Kok bisa bisanya kita menyembah oknum yang kita nyatakan Wuah banget. Ya berkuasa, ya apalah apalah. Begitu? Tapi kenyataannya kok kita menyembah yang begitu jauh banget yah? Saya yah misalnya, ibadah setiap hari tertentu. Dengan tujuan memuji Tuhan, mendengarkan firman, dan tapinya Tuhan yang saya datengin itu siapa? Wujudnya bagaimana? Timbul pertanyaan. Kok menyembah yang ngga tau juntrungannya. Rutin pulak. Saya berpikir. Dari satu dua tiga lagu, dari satu dua tiga firman. Saya mengambil kesimpulan sendiri. Tuhan itu yang disekeliling kita. Yang mengerti kita. Yang menyayangi kita. Tapi siapa? Untuk menjawab itu, perlu riset lama. Ngga penting. Njelimet pulak. Gini loh. Saya seharusnya menghormati orang yang ada disekitar kita. Meletakkan mereka lebih dari kita. Menghargai pemikiran mereka. Menghargai pula usaha mereka. Tadi yang saya sebut bener semua. Tapi ada satu kerendahan diri yang harus saya miliki. Memberi jalan bagi orang yang membutuhkan. Saya pernah berpikir. Tuhan itu selalu yang baik adanya? Hemm. Perlu diteliti ulang. Kadang kalau sebuah pisau harus diasah, alat pengasahnya kan kuwasarnya kayak apa coba. Sakit loh jadi pisau itu. Tapi kalau ngga diasah, ngga kepake. Pengasahnya juga guwalak banget kali yah. Sampe bunyi segala loh. Hiiih. Seyem. Tapi untuk kebaikan pisau tersebut. Andaikata pengasah itu ngga ada, *hem say bicara di koridor pengasahnya adalah asahan pisau muter yang dibonceng abang abang lewat depan itu loh*. Kalau, pengasahnya ngga ada. Mau diapain? Pisaunya tumpul dan ngga berguna. Yang saya mau bilang. Ada kecenderungan orang yang bicara bahwa Tuhan itu selalu yang baik baikkkk saja. Mungkin, buat saya ketika saya lagi capek. Iya. Capek karena lagi malas. Malas dan lagi sakit hati. Mungkin loh. Tapi bener juga kan. Tapi kalau sudah sehat lagi. Yah asah lagi lah. Saya sering bilang sama murit saya. Kamu sebagai pelajar, tugas kamu yah belajar. Saya pekerja, tugas saya yah bekerja. Dua duanya dengan embel embel, dan catatan, dengan baik. Yah pelajar yang baik dan pekerja yang baik. Yaitu, tugasnya belajar dengan baik. Dan bekerja dengan baik. Udah. Dan lakukan tugasmu sebaik baiknya. Masa, kalo dikasih tugas yang banyak, ngga senang hati menerimanya. Lhah. Kan buat latihan. Biar makin mahir. Itu kalo koridor pelajar. Kalo koridor pekerja, yah diasah lagi. Tugas kamu melayani pelanggan dan taat pada atasan. Udah. Nothing else. Nah. Kalo dengan judul diatas, yah begini lah. Tuhan itu akan memberi ganjaran, buat mereka yang layak. Tuhan akan memeberi dukungan, buat mereka yang membutuhkan. Tuhan akan mencukupi buat mereka yang telah berusaha. Tuhan akan memberi cambuk buat yang malas. Wuah masih banyak lagi. Gini loh yah. Toh orang bekerja itu gajinya akhir bulan. Kerja dulu. Mikir hasil nanti. Kalau bekerja sebaik mungkin, hasilnya pasti bagus. Pasti. Percaya deh. Ayo. Ciayoo. Do the best and God will do the rest. Bukan rest yang artinya istirahat loh. Ya kan? Tapi sisanya. Lakukan yang terbaik, biar Tuhan liat apa yang bisa Dia beri buat hambanya.

Nice job and Great one

This story ever told to many of my students and many times has done. But I don't mind to tell it again to you. Years ago, by the time of my graduation day from hi-school, I have planned to continue to join architectural faculty. Or as my wish to gain much money, then I want to become a doctor. I really belief that I will help myself to make money for me and soon perhaps my family, by working hard. If only I am not lazy and keep on working, I can reach my dreams and my goal to become...one of rich female that perhaps can support many people who need my help. Xixixixi. By the way, I don't know which good collage can offer me good standard of lecturing, which someday can make me become a good qualification of an architect. Or perhaps a doctor. But then, my momma say. You go to AJ university. Previously, I only buy 2 forms from 2 different university. One is the form on which I had graduated right now, and the other hand, a university that close to my neighbour, that now has dissapeared. It wasn't there anymore. Don't ask me why. I just do not know. In the AJ univ. I bought 2 different course and one is Teching English, while the other hand is Economy Faculty. For the shake of God's will, then I had just only taken the first major, and never taken diagnostic test or placement test from the other faculty. The next is, I have to be happy and satisfied with my mom's choice. The first term I got flying score. I was very pleased. The second term, I thought I can raise my score to be better, but it wasn't. Then there you go, I started to motivate myself to study harder to reach better scores. But what do I gain? I go down, and hard to be better. There is too many activities that I join, and makes me enjoy the glory of being seniorita. Well. In the other hand, i got a traffic jam on getting graduation right on time. It was a dissasterous thing. And makes me build a hard dilema. I thought I will never graduate or even never become rich. As well as I saith, that I wanna gain much money. Hhmmm. By the way, the time flies, and, I had learnt from anything, that everything should be by the granted from above. Many times I don't wanna quit. I have to. I must. If I still can do something, I am spiritted. I can. I will. Owuo. I have tons of word to make myself work out and motivated. But what I got is always the vice versa. Only some of the time I can realize how my work has been manipulated. But heydey. I am still who I am now. I say to my students that you should not be a quitter. Believe in yourself and in your plan. God speed. Nothing else I can say, because I believe. This is not the end of the world. I am not finish this yet. I still have some power to work on myself to be spirited. Even though I don't have bullet to kill my rival, or log to make a hole on the wall. I thank God. He will watch me over. It is just belief to make me survive. In the day that I still take my breath and do my activity routinely, I thank God, this is might not my choice. But I feel Happy and satisfied.

dosakah? atau dos-a dosaqua?

Sore ini kelas berakhir seperti biasa. Kesibukan yang lalu lalang dengan lewatnya waktu, semua berakhir begitu saja. Setelah menutup pintu kantor, dua murit yang sudah lama 'bertengger' di sekolah kami, mengayunkan tangan seraya mengajak saya dari cafe seberang. Tak lama, setelah memesan makanan, itu pun saya dapet gretongan. Xixixixixixixi. Tx D-I. Saya bercerita cukup detail tentang pengalaman saya yang masih saya ingat tentang... waaa. Namanya juga cewek. Ngga ngobral ngobrol ngga saya namanya. Saya pulang menenteng sebuah kantong plastik berisi sup krim berlapis roti yang masih hott. Panas Bok!! Ditengah kericuhan mengurusi 'ternak' dan mandi malam, saya teringat kata kata wejangan. Wejangan yang saya dapat bisa dari mana saja. Ada yang dari oknum peribadahan, ada yang dari teman teman yang mungkinbisa kontroversi bahkan bisa jadi konspirasi. Betapa sejak saya tahu nilai sebuah uang, ortu saya langsung mengajarkan, bahwa begitu bernilainya uang itu, maka sulit didapatnya uang itu. Keadaan mengkondisikan, bahwa saya ngga mungkin mendapatkan segala sesuatu yang bernilai dengan tangan hampa. Semakin bernilainya sesuatu maka semakin tinggi nilainya maka semakin sulit didapat. Kepolosan saja tidak memadai untuk mendapatkan hal yang berharga. Semua di muka bumi ini ada nilainya. Saya teringat ketika saya mulai menginginkan sesuatu, ketika saya masih duduk di bangku sekolah. Saya iri sekali melihat seorang anak mengendarai speda. Saya juga menginginkan speda seperti anak itu. Sayangnya, lagi lagi orang tua saya ingin mengajarkan saya sesuatu. Ya kamu bisa mendapatkan sepeda, bahkan mungkin lebih baik kondisinya dari sepeda anak itu, tapi dengan syarat. Waktu itu saya seorang anak kecil yang lumayan BODOH. Alias, sirik itu masih terpendam, belum mengenal KASIH yang sesungguhnya. Belum mengenal WELAS ASIH yang sesungguhnya. Belum mengenal banyak hal. Alibinya adalah, saya masih anak kecil yang 'ngiler' dan 'mupeng' abis ngeliat *peers* nya punya sepeda. Ndilalah, syarat yang diberikan ibu saya dan ayah saya, adalah, saya harus rangking 1 dulu di sekolah. Baru dibelikan hadiah sepeda. Setahun berlalu, dan saya sampai akhirnya mengendarai sepeda Roland, warna hitam yang kemudian ditambahi embel embel du roda samping. Saya sampai sekarang masih merema dalam hidup saya. Kalau saya mau, sungguh sungguh, dan tekun, apa sih yang ngga bisa saya dapatkan. Yah memang, semuanya bergantung sama yang diatas. Kalau yang diatas berkata ya, belum tentu kita dapetin angin. Heheheh. Kalau kita dapet angin pun, belum tentu angin itu angin kentut. Yaa, sesuai dengan apa yang telah kita kerjakan. Ngga ada yang gratis. Semua harus ada jerih payahnya. Semua ada tujuannya. Ketika kita dewasa, semakin banyak yang kita inginkan. Semakin banyak kebutuhan kita. Dan yang kita kerjakan juga, waaa bertumpuk. Itupun kalau memang kita mau meraih cita cita. Ngga ada hujan uang. Yah, kalau saya menciptakan sendiri, alias ketika tanggal gajian datang, dan saya menebar uang di kamar saya, itu lain halnya. Tapi yang saya maksud, semakin dewasa, kita semakin tahu, akan nilai sesuatu. Sebagaimana kita menginginkan, dan sepatuh apa kita pada diri sendiri agar cita cita kita tercapai. Penah, dikelas saya, saya menjelaskan demikian. Mungkin kita akan menginginkan untuk mencapai nilai 10. Tapi yang bisa kita raih hanya sampai nilai 6. Sudah yang terbaik Miss, yang aku kerjakan. Tapi beberapa tahun kemudian, karena kita udah enjoy dengan kehidupan dan pekerjaan. Yah, nilai 6 itu bahkan berubah drastis menjadi 13, atau bahkan 20. Bukan nilai atau cost dalam nilai ulangan yang saya maksud. Tapi, nilai atau besaran tentang harga sebuah kehidupan. Yang saya maksud adalah nilai prestasi pribadi. Bahwa kalau kita bawa enjoy, bawa senang, bawa gembira. Tentunya nilai itu akan semakin menjulang tinggi tanpa kita rasakan. Satu hal lagi. Ketika saya mengajarkan kepada orang lain, saya menambah ilmu, saya menjadi motivator bagi murit saya, misalnya, tapi sesungguhnya, saya memotivasi semangat saya sendiri. Terlebih dari memotivasi murit saya. Heheheeh. Karena saya akan pegang yang saya keluarkan dari mulut. Lhah. Gimana enggak. Berapa orang yang mendengar saya. Apa mereka akan diam begitu saja? Mereka mendengar, dan akan menyambungkan ke orang lain. Eh Miss ku bilang gini loh. Eh Miss ku bilang gitu loh. Nah. Gimana? Bennar kan? Btw, saya enjoy dengan kesibukan saya. Dan dengan banyaknya beban yang saya panggul, saya menjadi SESEORANG!! Yah, banyak yang telah saya katakan, banyak pula yang sudah saya lakukan. Semoga bermanfaat. Kata *pepetah* lakukan saja, jerih payahmu tidak sia sia. Tapi seberapa yang telah kamu terima? Pelajaran apa yang telah kamu dapatkan? Lakukan dengan tekun, catatlah kalau bisa, bijaksanalah, dan masih banyak kata kata klise yang pastinya pernah kamu dengar. Percaya deh. Tuhan yang ditempat tersembunyi melihat. Tapi ngomong ngomong, sama judul diatas, saya tuh mau cerita, saya kangenin pria di masa lalu, dan nyuri poto aplotan dia dari pesbuknya, dan sudah saya jadikan wallpaper tablet saya. Ganti ganti pulak karena seringnya mengunjungi pesbuk dia. Xixixixixi. Mestinya gimana yah? Rahasia perjalanan hubungan kami sih sudah diketahui beberapa pihak. Tapi kami belum menemukan jalan keluar. Lagi lagi. Kalo gag ada yang gretongan. Saya dosa gag sama murit saya dan terutama sama ya potonya saya kopi. Hihihi. Hakimilah saya. Ahahahahahahahahahha

24102011

Any mistakes could be happend. As I saith from the beginning, that it supposed to be Live, that could be beautiful in the eyes of asimple one. Well I saith, love did. Actually, there is a similarity about love and live. The different could be only as a mispelled of the letter *i* and *o*. Anyhow, perhpas only some realize this things. Love if I had seen all of this time, is almost alike live for instance. Just a lil miscapitalized of letter. I ever thought that perhaps that is also what happend to the differences between male and female. We are two different human or gender. But we are same in most of the actions and reactions. I wanna talk about things going on today in my office. A misunderstanding, happens several times. Again and again, the combinations of communication should be maintained as well as the production of way of working. There might be nothing between the things I mentioned up there, but I wanna say, understanding, purity, and low profile, should work out during the communications along in any where. Thingking of who am I, is not all. But we are all one, and should not separated, should be the first come along in our heart and our thought. Somehow, we are all become one body in working area. In my believe of background, I feel how this importance work out. We need each other as we have to cooperate each other as well. I need my colleague's existance. While of course, she needs me and my existance too. Understanding and loyalty, and of course, a well being of manner and frightened to the existance of the head of the main character, like Boss. Or I may say the BB. Big Boss. It helps a lot. Once I heard a story, five fingers ever saith, about whose existance is the best among them. And what is the result? They need themselves and all the existances of their member by themselves. Which is they will be reluctant to do things well, and they will be handicaped, if they were only one or, there is a missing member of them. Work out together, and loyalty to work well as to serve well, and low profile, of who they are, who you are, and please, all of us is a member of the part of the body, which need one to each other as well.

Pekerjaan Seorang ___ Sejati

Bagi saya, akhir akhir ini, bukan ketika di tempat kerja yang sesungguhnya saja. Minggu, walaupun libur, saya ngga ongkang kaki dan goyang sandal saja. Sepulang ibadah pagi, saya membiasakan diri ke pasar terdekat, untuk berbelanja kebutuhan makan seminggu kedepan. Seperti lauk pauk mentah berikut bumbu yang nantinya akan diolah. Sebenarnya, hal yang simpel adalah, saya sedang dalam pengiritan yang luar biasa. Membengkaknya sang Tazmania Koneng di dompet adalah penyebab utamanya. Lha. Penghasilan seseorang abdi seperti saya ini, mana cukup sih mengongkosi sang segawon ajaib itu. Ndilalah, yah ini yang harus saya lakukan.
Ketelatenan seseorang yang sedang dalam proses, bisa membuat saya menjadi mawas diri, tekun, dan tunduk pada peraturan yang sudah saya buat sendiri. Saya abdi, guru pulak. Jalan keluarnya ya mengikat pinggang serampingnya. Namun tetap pada koridor yang baik. Memberi contoh untuk hidup bijaksana, dan mengajarkan ketekunan.
Sauh itu lambang pengharapan. Jadi, tanpa sauh, sebuah kapal dapat 'ucul' dengan mudahnya, bahkan entah terbawa arus yang tidak benar.
Yang benar ditiru, yang salah dibuang. Tekun. Fokus. Dewasa. Bijaksana.

coffee and experiment

One of my fave drink is coffee. Especially Latte. The hot one. And small piece. Usually, it doesn't cost much, and I still can consume milk. One of my fave is here in. The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Nice. And the taste of milk, awesome. It serve some wifi too. So I still can enjoy my writing, alike now. I don't pretty like machiato or espresso. They bitter and sour. 100% expressing the taste of dark coffee. Not pretty cost. But not pretty nice. Better to think something else more important. Than wasting time thinking about something unspecial things. So I firmed myself. That the time of darkness will dissapear, yet the time of brightness will come arrive. Yippey. I love this word.